


By Your Side

by lilaussieauthor, theauthenticme



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, Veronica is a Good Friend, mentions of assault, missed period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 06:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18632797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilaussieauthor/pseuds/lilaussieauthor, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthenticme/pseuds/theauthenticme
Summary: When Cheryl misses her period, she's worried that when Nick drugged her, more than she first thought might have happened that night.





	By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you anon for requesting this! 
> 
> This ended up longer than we planned! 
> 
> Trigger warnings for mentions of possible sexual assault in this one.

Toni pulled Cheryl closer, deepening their kiss. "It's been...so long.." she panted, pressing her open mouth back against Cheryl's and sliding her hand down her girlfriend's side. She was so ready for this - it felt like Cheryl had been distant lately and the fact they'd got this far was a positive.  
She slipped her hand under Cheryl's top and trailed it up until it met her girlfriend's breast, rubbing her thumb across Cheryl's clothed nipple as she sucked keenly on the redhead's lips.

Cheryl winced at the contact, grabbing Toni's wrist gently and pulling it away from her chest. "Sensitive TT" she mumbled, not wanting to ruin the moment but knowing that would be too much right now.

Toni frowned. "Oh... okay. Do... do you wanna stop?" Had she _done_  something? Was there some sort of event that had occurred that meant Cheryl wasn't willing to... to be with her? "Are we okay, Cher?"

"We're fine TT" she didn't want to upset her girlfriend. "I'm just not really..in the _mood_ right now. You know what I get like at certain times of the month if im hormonal".

"Right" Toni said, pulling her hands down and moving from her previous position of straddling Cheryl. "Right, of course, sorry. I forgot."

"Are you mad at me?" Cheryl worried, her lip wobbling. "I'm sorry TT.." she wiped her eyes quickly. "I can still make you feel good."

"No - _no_ , of course not, sorry" Toni said breathily. "No... it's fine. I promise. Wanna watch a movie?"

"Ar..are you sure?" Her lip wobbled again. "I don't mind making you feel good..I know you wanted to have sex tonight."

"No" Toni said quickly, swearing inside. "No, Cher - I promise, I just genuinely didn't realise. We're good, baby. I love you, hey?" She leant forward carefully and kissed Cheryl softly. "It's not about me wanting to have sex... I'm just making sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine" she assured her, still anxious that she had upset Toni. "Maybe we can..try again tomorrow?"

"If you want to" Toni said gently. "Cher, I promise I'm not upset. I love you."

"I love you too" Cheryl moved a little closer to Toni, wanting to cuddle with her but not feeling like she could ask after what had just happened.

"Come here, you" Toni said gently, pulling her close. They cuddled for a while, the silence filling the room. "Is something up? You're quiet..."

"I just don't like letting you down. And I _know_  you said it's fine and I don't doubt that for a second but it's just me you know?"

Toni _did_ know. "I know, Cher" she reassured. "But I promise on my life it's fine. Honestly. You're not letting me down... how can I make you feel better?"

Cheryl burrowed further into Toni's arms. "Maybe we can keep snuggling for a bit?"

"I would like nothing better" Toni promised her, curling up to the redhead and pressing her lips against Cheryl's head. "I love you so much" she hummed contently.

"You too TT" she closed her eyes, relaxing a bit into Toni.

Toni watched with a small smile as Cheryl nestled in and fell into a light sleep, eventually giving up on staying awake and reaching across to flick the light off, curling into her girlfriend and closing her eyes.  
...  
Cheryl wasn't sure how long she slept, but it was almost light when she woke up. She felt a wave of sickness wash over her, running to the bathroom and immediately throwing up in the bowl.

Toni frowned, getting up quickly and stumbling into the bathroom. “Cher? Cher... baby...” she rubbed her back soothingly, pulling her red hair back into a ponytail. “Oh, Cheryl.”

"Im okay.." she wiped her mouth quickly. She didn't want Toni to worry.

“I... are you sure?” Toni took Cheryl into her arms, feeling her tremble. “Baby?”

Cheryl looked away, knowing she would crumble if she looked at Toni. "It's nothing TT. Just one of those virus things."

"Cher..." Toni said, not wanting to upset her girlfriend. "Baby, you've been sick for a while now, I've heard you, I've noticed. I..." How the _hell_ did she bring this up?  
"I love you, baby, and I have a slight idea of what might be going on here, I... Cheryl?"

"Don't be silly Toni. I'm fine.." she stood up on shaky legs. "It's just a virus. Nothing more."

"Can we get it checked out then?" Toni pushed gently. She took Cheryl's clammy hands in her own. "Cher... is it possible... I -" She trailed off. It _couldn't_  be. But... what if it was?

Cheryl pulled her hand out of Toni's, standing up and leaving the bathroom quickly. She wasn't ready for it to be anything else.

"No... no, Cher, please come back." Toni followed her back to the bedroom. "I... I just want to figure out what's going on."

"And as I already _told_ you, it's nothing" she snapped, not meaning to but when her anxiety was bad her defenses went up.

"Hey... hey, hey, hey.." Toni said gently. "Breathe, baby, I'm not saying it's anything. But hey - look at this from my point of view, okay? I just woke up to my girlfriend vomiting and I wanna make sure she's okay, yeah?" She reached for Cheryl's hand again.

"Uhuh. I get that. But surely you can trust me when I say that I'm okay. It's just a virus."

"I-I do trust you.." Toni said carefully. "Just... Cher, when... I love you sweetie, and I trust you, I'm just... double checking."

This sounded bad. "When was your last period, baby?"

"Last month, same as yours" she snapped, folding her arms defensively over her chest. "Obviously."

“Okay,” Toni agreed. “Alright. Um... yeah. Do you, uh, want some breakfast, or...” she moved over to Cheryl carefully and put her arms around the other girl’s waist, burying her face in Cheryl’s neck. “I love you” she whispered again, simply holding her making her feel better already.

"You too TT." She was glad Toni seemed to have dropped it for now. "I'm not hungry, but you go ahead. We'll have to go to school soon anyway."

“Kay" Toni whispered, not really wanting to move. “How about... skip breakfast, more hugs?”

"Sounds like a plan" she loved being close to her girlfriend.  
...  
Toni held her until they really had to go to school. She pulled Cheryl up reluctantly and the redhead drove them to school. She felt uneasy the whole time.

Cheryl disappeared to off to her first class, leaving Toni alone.

"Toni" Veronica smiled, sitting down beside her as she came into the common room. "Not skipping class I hope."

"Not exactly" Toni forced a smile onto her face. "I have a spare. And you, Miss Lodge?"

"Same" she leaned back on the couch, glancing at Toni again. She wondered if everything was okay; Toni seemed off.

Toni looked over at her. "You ever... know something, but... you're not sure and you don't wanna assume the wrong thing in case it changes everything?"

"Woah okay..that feels like a somewhat loaded question" Veronica turned so she was facing Toni with a concerned look.

"Sorry.." Toni laughed sheepishly. "I'm just... confused. And worried."

" hey.. it's okay..you don't need to be sorry T.." Veronica promised gently. "What's wrong? What has you so confused and worried?"  
She was glad the room was empty apart from the two of them. "T?" she asked again when Toni didn't respond. "What is it?"

"I..." Toni paused. She took a deep breath, her eyes trained on the floor, and whispered her next words. "I think Cher might be... pregnant?"

"What? Are you sure?  _How_?" Veronica looked shocked.

"I have no idea" Toni admitted. "But... she's never had sex with anyone besides me.. well.. not that she's told me about. But I'm pretty sure she missed her period last month, she's been throwing up every morning for at _least_  two weeks - what else could it be?" She had no _idea_  how.

"Oh no.." this didn't sound good. "Poor Cheryl. Oh god..you don't think.." Veronica started. "It was about 9 weeks ago that all that stuff happened with Nick. What if it went further than we thought?"

 _Maybe she really could be pregnant_  Toni thought. "Shit," Toni whispered. "Oh, god, I'm sorry, Ronnie - I've gotta go find Cher. I didn't push it earlier because... because I thought it was impossible - but..." She looked, panicking, at the brunette.

"Can you come with me? Please? I don't know exactly how... how I'm gonna do this, she's gonna be so scared, Veronica, I don't know what to do." Her resolve broke and tears rolled own her cheeks, her chest tight with fear of the unknown.

"Of course I'll come.." Veronica reassured her. "But take 5 minutes first" she rubbed her friend's back. "Take a deep breath..the calmer you are..the better for her okay?"

"Right," Toni nodded, trying to breathe again. "Right, sorry..."

"I know this is terrifying but it's okay. You're strong..she's strong. You said you think she missed her period? I think we start there okay?"

"Okay," Toni said weakly, not feeling strong at all. "I... How? I don't... I don't know what I'm doing, Ronnie." She took another deep breath and turned her troubled eyes to meet Veronica's.

"I can help.." she promised, having experienced a similar situation before when she lived in New York. "Do you want me to talk to her first?"

"I... I do," Toni said. "But at the same time... make sure you're careful... she's really fragile, she went crazy at me this morning... just be careful, yeah?"

"I will be" Ronnie promised as the bell rung. "We have a free together next so I'll go find her okay?"

"Kay," Toni nodded. "Call... call me when you're done, I'll... I don't know, but I'll come see you at break." She gave Veronica a quick hug and wiped her eyes, heading out of he lounge and towards her locker.

"Will do..I promise.." she headed off to find Cheryl.

....

Veronica eventually found her alone in the Vixens locker room. "Cheryl? Are you sick?" She could hear her throwing up in a stall.

Cheryl coughed, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. "I'm fine." She was pale, shaking, nauseous as _hell_ , but yeah. "I'm okay."

"You're throwing up.." Ronnie stated, grabbing a water bottle from the stash Cheryl kept for the Vixens and handing it to the redhead.

Cheryl took it gratefully, reaching up to flush the toilet and ignoring her rolling stomach. "Just a bug," she told her friend. "Give me a minute, it'll pass."

Veronica let Cheryl wash her hands, watching her worriedly. "Why don't we go sit for a bit?" She led her over to the benches.

Cheryl stood as Veronica sat, not wanting to commit herself to anything. "I'm fine, Ronnie, I swear."

"I never said you weren't.." Veronica said gently, tugging lightly on Cheryl's hand. "Please sit for a bit."

Cheryl sighed, plonking herself down next to the brunette. "Yes?" She said, slightly irritably.

"I'm just checking in. Should you really be at school if you have a bug?"

"You sound like Toni," Cheryl grumbled. "I'm _fine_. I will _not_ give up my 4.0 GPA just because I'm a bit nauseous."

"Throwing up and feeling nauseous are two different things Cher.."

"I _know_ I threw up Ronnie" Cheryl snapped, the bitter taste in her mouth a constant reminder of the fact. "And I probably will again, so stop treating this 'check up' like an interrogation or I might aim for you." She broke off, closing her eyes. "Sorry. It's been a long week."

"I'm sorry..I'm not trying to interrogate you..I'm just worried that's all.."

"Sorry," Cheryl said again. "I know you are, but I assure you - I'm fine." This was disproven as she felt another wave of sickness overtake her and had to pause for fear of throwing up again. "I - I'm fine."

"I'm going to honest..because you're one of my best friends and I love you. You don't _look_ fine Cher."

Cheryl's heart clenched. "I don't feel fine either," she said meekly, her stomach rolling. She wouldn't look at Veronica.

Veronica rested a gentle hand on her friend's back. "How long have you been feeling like this?" Her voice was soft and caring.

" _Ages_ ," Cheryl whispered, a tear falling down her cheek. "Like... atleast a month or so. But... I'm sure it's nothing." She looked up hesitantly, one of her arms snaking around her unsettled belly. "Right, Ronnie?"

"Can I ask you something?" Ronnie didn't want to come straight out with it.

Cheryl's eyes were panicked. "I..." She needed an excuse to get out of this, right now. "I'm gonna throw up again." She made to get away.

Ronnie watched Cheryl skeptically, having seen the panic in her eyes. "Hang on Cher..please.." she caught her wrist and gently pulled her back down to the bench.

"But..." she sighed. "I don't feel good!" It was a weak attempt at setting herself free and Veronica saw right through it. "Okay fine, but if I throw up on you, it's your fault."

"I'll take all the blame" she agreed with a grin before her face turned serious again. "When.." she started, not sure how Cheryl was going to take this. "When was your last period Cher?"

Cheryl tensed. "Did you talk to Toni?" Her walls went up in a split second, turning away from Veronica with a scoff. "Did she send you here?"

"She hasn't sent me anywhere" Ronnie replied honestly. "We both know this isn't about Toni.." Veronica could see Cheryl's defenses were up. "Can you tell me though? When you last period was?"

Cheryl bit her lip, tears brimming in her brown eyes. She turned to Veronica, looking at the other girl's feet. "I... it was about nine weeks ago," she whispered. "But that's normal, Ronnie, it's because I'm stressed."

"So you've missed more than one?" Veronica checked, noting that Cheryl wouldn't even look at her.

"Because I'm stressed," Cheryl repeated quietly, her nausea growing as Veronica's answers seemed to confirm what she already suspected.

"Stress _can_ affect your periods. But so can other things too.."

"No..." Cheryl said. "I'm _stressed_."

"You've been through a really stressful time recently Cher, I know you have" she confirmed.

"I have," Cheryl said desperately. "I have, I have." She felt so sick, suspecting what Veronica was alluding to.

"And if it wasn't stress that's caused you to miss them.." Ronnie promoted, letting Cheryl process.

"No," Cheryl whispered, starting to cry. "No, Ronnie, no." _Please no._

"It's okay.." Ronnie wrapped an arm around her. "It's all going to be okay."

Cheryl's shoulder shook. " _How?"_ How did it happen? How was everything going to be okay? How?

"The only thing I can think of is..Nick" she felt sick at the last word.

Cheryl gulped. "N-Nick?"

"I know we thought we got there before anything happened.." Ronnie started. "But..what..what if we didn't?"

Cheryl's face crumpled. "You said you did... I would've known... No, Ronnie..."

"I _thought_ we did but maybe..I don't know.." she shrugged, feeling guilty that this could be her fault. "But it's all speculation at this point. Can you schedule an emergency appointment with your doctor?"

Cheryl took a shuddering breath in. "I can, but... can you get Toni? Please, Veronica, I need - I need Toni." Before anything else, she had to explain to her girlfriend.

"Of course I can. Why don't I text her and then I can leave you guys to talk once she arrives?" She didn't want to leave Cheryl alone, not convinced she wouldn't do a runner.

"Y-yeah," Cheryl whispered distantly. Her mind was running through several different scenarios - what if Toni thought she'd - she'd _cheated_? What if she was?

Veronica fired off a quick text to Toni, knowing she'd be there in no time.

"Cheryl?" Toni called, running into the changing room and stopping beside them, trying to catch her breath. "Is everything okay?"

“Yes,” Cheryl said, though her head was screaming _no_ , it’s not. Veronica shot her a look and she crumbled, leaning closer to Toni. “N-no.”

"I'm gonna let you two talk. Let me know if either of you need anything.." she looked at them both before leaving them alone in the locker room. "I'm here..what's wrong babe?" Toni wondered what they had talked about.

Cheryl's lip wobbled. "C-can you h-hold me?" She just needed something... safe. Something that felt right, before she talked to Toni.

"Of course.." Toni's arms were immediately around Cheryl, wrapping her up and pulling her close.

Cheryl felt her chest loosen, her heart rate decreasing as she melted into Toni. She stayed there for a minute before speaking softly into Toni's neck. "I think..." she broke off, nuzzling closer to the shorter girl, not wanting to say it out loud.

Toni knew what Cheryl was going to say but knew she needed to come to it in her own time and say it when she was ready. "Just take your time.."

Cheryl sighed. "Can you give me... Arizona's number?" And she wanted Toni to come with her. She wasn't sure whether she could do this alone.

"Want me to call and see if she can fit you in later today?"

"Yes please.." Cheryl whispered, clutching tighter to Toni. "Can... can you come?"

"Of course, I'll always be there Cher.." she would never leave Cheryl alone if she wanted her there. She pulled out her phone and rung the doctor's office, managing to make an appointment for the afternoon. "All sorted."

"After school?" Cheryl asked. She looked up at Toni, and when her kind eyes met Cheryl's the redhead found it impossible to hold herself together anymore. "Toni... what i-if I... if he... what if I _am?"_ Her eyes were wide, her chest tight with all the fear. "I'm so scared, TT."

"Yeah, four o clock" she confirmed. "Oh Cher..if you are..we'll get through it okay? I'm not going anywhere no matter what" she held her close, rubbing her back in comfort. "But it might not be that so let's try and not worry okay?"

"Okay" Cheryl whimpered. "I didn't mean to, Toni... I swear. It wasn't on purpose." She felt sick with nerves. What if Toni left?

"Baby I know. I _know_ okay? You don't have to say it."

"Kay," Cheryl bit her lip, trying to stop her tears before they fell. "Toni... can we go home? I don't... don't know how I'm gonna do class."

"Of course..ill sort it. Want to go wait in the car babe?"

"Yeah," Cheryl said, though she didn't really want to leave Toni. "See you in a bit."

"I won't be long..promise."  
....

She managed to sort it quickly and was soon driving Cheryl home.

Cheryl felt her anxiety grow as they neared the doctors clinic that afternoon. "T... maybe we could just go to the chemist? Buy a... test?"

No..no baby. Let's let Arizona check you out okay? Then we'll know for sure."

Cheryl whined. "But..." She looked up at Toni, full Puppy Dog eyes on show. "I don't wanna..."

"We're here now babe..come on.." she took her hand and led her in.

Cheryl sighed, clutching Toni's hand and following her inside, letting her do the talking as she worked to calm her anxiety.

"Toni..Cheryl.." Arizona smiled, when she saw them both. "Come in ladies.."

Toni took Cheryl's hand, leading her into the room. "Thanks for seeing us."

"Hi," Cheryl said quietly. Her heart was beating four times as fast as normal and she looked to Toni for confirmation.

"Why don't you both sit down.." Arizona could sense the nervous energy in the room.

Cheryl took a seat across from the doctor and looked to the ground. "Did... Toni tell you why we're here?"

"She didn't" Arizona shook her head. "Do you think you can tell me what's brought you in today?"

"I don't know," Cheryl said honestly. She hadn't said it out loud yet. "Um... I think maybe..."

Toni squeezed her hand, wanting Cheryl to talk if she was able. "You're doing great babe."

"Thanks, TT," Cheryl whispered. "Um," she turned back to Arizona. "I missed my period?"

"Okay" Arizona nodded kindly. "Is that something that's usual for you?"

"N-no," Cheryl mumbled. "Only... ever once or twice before."

"So you're usually quite regular" she confirmed, writing something down on the pad infront of her.

"Yeah," Cheryl nodded. "I... uh, I've been feeling, um... really sick, too."

"How long has this been going on for?" Arizona questioned carefully.

"A while. A..about nine weeks..." Cheryl spoke so quietly she hardly heard herself. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, felt Toni's soft thumb wipe it away.

"So you've missed two periods then?" Arizona checked.

Cheryl nodded, not trusting her voice.

"I'm gonna ask you something scary now okay?"

Toni squeezed her hand, her other hand rubbing Cheryl's thigh softly.

"Cheryl honey" Arizona looked at her. "Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?"

Cheryl sobbed harshly, turning to Toni and burying her face in the girl's neck. "I c-can't say it," she whispered. "You tell her, TT, please..."

"I will.." she unclasped their hands and wrapped her arms around Cheryl instead.

"About 10 weeks ago.." Toni looked to Arizona, trying to stay strong for Cheryl. "Something happened to Cheryl. Some guy roofied her. We thought our friends rescued her before he _did_ anything..but now we're thinking..maybe they didn't.."

Cheryl moaned, trying to nestle even closer to her girlfriend. She didn't want to think about that night ever again.

"That's a very scary thing to have happen Cheryl" Arizona could see how painful this was for them. "And I can understand why you're anxious about the possibility of being pregnant."

"Right," Cheryl whispered. "How - when can I find out? For sure?"

"We can find out today. I'd like to examine you if possible. Have a feel of your belly and then maybe do a scan. Then we'll know what we need to do next. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah" Cheryl murmured. "Can TT stay?" As nice as Arizona was, she wasn't quite comfortable being left alone with her just yet.

"Absolutely" Arizona nodded. "Why don't you come lie down over here for me. Toni? Why don't you bring your chair over here, sit up by Cheryl's head."

Toni nodded quietly,doing as she was asked.

Cheryl laid, shaking profusely, on the table. "W-what are you going to do?" She'd feel a little better if she knew what was going on. Toni was stroking her hair gently and she was starting to relax just a little.

"I know this is scary but you're doing so well" the doctor praised, giving her arm a gentle squeeze. "First, I'm going to examine your belly and pelvis. Then I'll use some cool gel and a little wand to scan your pelvis. Do you think you can lift your shirt up for me Cheryl? I want to know if any of this hurts okay?"

"Okay" Cheryl said, pulling her shirt up and looking down at her pale stomach.

She allowed herself to think about what if there really was a kid in there - in a positive light, though. Would she and Toni keep it? Last time they were in this room, they'd talked about kids names - what if she had a little baby? She looked up at Toni, her eyes wide.

"You're doing so good" Toni murmured into her hair. "I'm so proud of you."

"That's perfect, thank you" Arizona smiled kindly at her and began her exam, noting Cheryl's responses.

Cheryl tried to distract herself. "Toni... what... what are we doing this weekend?" Anything to not focus on what they were here for.

"I thought it might be nice if we got away this weekend, wherever you like babe."

Cheryl grinned at her. "Really?"

"Absolutely. Anything for you Cher.."

Cheryl felt her tears well up again, this time for love. She was so grateful that Toni was sticking with her through everything.

"Have a think..see what you might like to do.."

"You okay for me to do the scan now?" Arizona asked as she finished up her exam.

"Uhuh" Cheryl nodded at Arizona before turning back to Toni. "Just us?"

"Just us, always just us" she reassured her.

Arizona made quick work of the scan, checking everything she needed to while Cheryl was distracted talking to Toni. She wiped the gel off her belly and turned back to Cheryl.

"While you're lying down..I think now would be a good time to draw some blood."

"No," Cheryl said urgently. "No. No. Toni, tell her no, please - no" she broke off into frantic whimpers, her heart rate increasing. "Please, TT, no..."

Arizona stepped back, holding her hands up to show Cheryl she had nothing that would hurt her. "You're okay honey" she soothed as Toni rounded the exam table.

"Breathe Cher..it's okay..you're okay" she soothed, sitting on the bed beside Cheryl and taking her into her arms. "I've got you."

"No" Cheryl cried, sobs wracking her body as memories from the sisters' flooded her mind. "Please..." The gel was fine - Arizona _touching_  her was fine - just, not needles. "I'm not doing it, I can't."

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to" Arizona reassured her as Toni calmed her down.

"Promise?" Cheryl asked, clutching tight to her girlfriend. "I just... I can't, I'm sorry."

"That's okay" Arizona reassured her. "Do you think you can tell me a bit about what makes you so anxious?"

Cheryl locked eyes with Toni, who nodded reassuringly.

"I... my mother sent me to this... this place," she began, her fingers playing absentmindedly with a strand of Toni's hair. "They... they used these - these huge needles and... and in-injected me with stuff that - changed me." She looked back to Toni, unsure.

Arizona felt sick that a parent could do that to their child. "What a horrendous experience for you Cheryl. Changed you how?"

"Made me... blank," Cheryl said, unsure about how to describe it. "Like all my happy memories were gone. Like I wasn't me?"

"Probably some sort of mild sedative.." she mused. "Not enough to knock you out, but enough to make you feel blank. It wouldn't have had any permanent effect.." she reassured.

"Felt like it at the time" Cheryl murmured. She felt for Toni's heartbeat, reassuring herself the other girl was there. "I'm sorry, I can't do needles. Can... can you do a different test?"

"We can collect a urine sample and test that" it wouldn't test nearly as much as she wanted to but Cheryl was clearly terrified of needles.

"Yeah" Cheryl nodded. "That would be much better, please."

"Okay." She found a sample bottle and showed her where she needed to go down the hall. "Bring it back as soon as you're ready."

Toni looked to the doctor as her girlfriend left the room. "You really think she could be pregnant?"

"If Cheryl was assaulted, then pregnancy is a definite possibility" she chose her words carefully.

She sat back at her desk, Toni in the seat beside it. "Do you know if she saw a doctor after the assault?"

"She didn't" Toni sighed. "You know how much she hates doctors."

"And that's due to her time in that place her mother sent her?"

"The sisters" Toni confirmed. "Yeah. They did a real one on her. She's... broken. She's so broken."

"You're doing an amazing job with her Toni. You calm her so easily..she really responds well to you. I could help too..if she'll let me."

"I try" Toni smiled. "It took her a long time to let me in - and at the moment, I'm the only one who _can_ calm her. So yeah, it'd be great if we could get her to be a bit more comfortable around you - I can calm her, but I can't _fix_ it, you know? I feel like I provide a temporary solution, until the bomb ticks and she breaks all over again."

"Have you ever brought up the possibility of therapy to her? I know some wonderful therapists that I could recommend."

"I've tried.." Toni sighed. "She's against it. She doesn't like letting people in, can you tell?" She grinned. "She doesn't want to be a burden."

"I had noticed.." she agreed. "I wonder if she might agree to seeing someone as a one off..particularly if she thought she was maybe going to maybe..support you?"

Toni frowned. "How so?" She didn't want to trick Cheryl into anything.

"Its a suggestion I've seen it work with a few patients in the past. If she was there supporting you, it might help her to see that therapy isn't such a scary thing."

"Hmm," Toni speculated. "Maybe we'll give it a try."

Arizona smiled. "Think about it..let me know" she paused. "And how are you doing with everything?"

"Struggling, sometimes" Toni admitted. "It's hard, you know? Seeing her in so much pain - being in so much pain myself. But... we're getting there. I think we're getting there."

"You're so good at thinking of others but please don't forget yourself in all this. Is there anything I can do to help _you_?"

"I don't know" Toni whispered. "How can you help when I don't even know how to help myself?"

"That's what I'm here for" she reassured her.

Toni nodded. "Thank you... but I'm not even sure what you could do." She was confused, and hurting, but she had no idea how to stop it.

"Even just being a listening ear can help sweetie" she had been Toni's doctor for many years and cared about the girl.

"Right," Toni whispered. "I'm just... I'm so scared. About Cher - how broken she is, how I can't do enough to help her. And... I'm stuck in this continuous loop of not feeling like I'm good enough for her or feeling like... like I never get to be... me? Like it's always... I'm always comforting her - and I'm not saying that's bad, I love her. But - I feel like whenever _I'm_  upset, or _I'm_ panicking, I block myself off. I don't let her do to me what I'd do to her if she was in the same situation, even though I want it - need it. Does that make any sense?"

"Every word" she reassured her, a sparkle in her eye. "Do you know something? I think it would _help_ Cheryl to be able to be there for you. Let her be the strong one when you need it Toni. One of the ways people recover from harrowing experiences like she's been through is when they are allowed to be normal. Her comforting you is part of a normal, loving relationship. _Let_ her, and I think it will help both of you."

"I'll try" Toni promised. "But it's really hard for me to be the weak one... I feel like I can't break when she's around in case it breaks her more."

"You know what? It may make you both feel more broken in the short term, but then I think it will make you stronger. Both as a couple and individually. You'll build each other back up."

"Okay" Toni said heavily before taking a deep breath and smiling up at the doctor. "Thanks Arizona."

"You know I'm here anytime right Toni? You can always talk to me about anything, no matter how small it may seem."

"Okay" the girl whispered, a lump forming in her throat at Arizona's kind words. "That means... so much."

Arizona reached her hand out, giving her shoulder a small squeeze. She wanted to give the poor girl a hug but didn't know if Toni would like it, even though she could see she needed it. "Would you like a hug?"

"Yeah" Toni said, her voice quiet. "Yes please."

"Honey" she moved to the empty seat beside Toni and held her arms out, wrapping Toni up.

Toni let out a long breath, her body loosening for the first time in weeks. It felt so good to have someone hold her - someone who was there explicitly for her, who she didn't have to worry about.

"Thank you," she whispered into Arizona's neck.

"If you need to cry..let it out..you're safe here...."

Toni bit her lip, her face crumpling. It was embarrassing, really, how quickly her tears fell - but fall they did, quickly and in great abundance. She found herself reduced to long, broken cries in Arizona's arms, all the pain, the worry, the sorrow from the last couple of weeks rolling down her face in salty tracks.

"It's okay..I've got you.." she soothed, rubbing her back and letting her cry as much as she needed to.

Toni sniffed, looking up at the ceiling to try and stem the steady flow of tears. "I'm sorry" she laughed wetly. "My girlfriend's possibly pregnant and I'm here crying about - about what?"

"Don't apologize, your emotions are just as valid." She guessed Toni pushed a lot of stuff down. "Acknowledge and accept them."

"You sound like Cher" Toni giggled, wiping her eyes. "Thank you, though, seriously."

"No need to thank me, honestly."

"There is" Toni disagreed, pulling away reluctantly. "Somehow, you've just managed to dissipate all my anxiety from the last week or so. With a _hug_."

"We all need hugs. And I'm more than happy to provide them."

"Thanks" Toni smiled. "Do you think... Cher's been gone for ages..."

"Want to go check on her?"

"Probably should" Toni nodded. "I'll be back."

"I'll be waiting" she smiled.

Toni stepped lightly down the hallway, feeling better than she had in _ages_. 

"Cher?" she called, stepping into the bathroom.

Cheryl looked up from the sink, where she was splashing water on her face.

"Hey, baby," Toni said gently, wrapping her arms around Cheryl's middle from behind her. "What're you thinking?"

"Just... stuff. Babies," Cheryl murmured. "Wait - have you been crying? Are you okay?"

"Fine," Toni assured her. "Anything about babies in particular?"

"Would we keep it?" Cheryl asked quietly.

"If you want," Toni said. "I'd be quite happy to have a little Blossom running around."

"But it's his" Cheryl pointed out.

"Hey" Toni said. "Let's not overthink until we find out if there's actually a baby in here" she smiled reassuringly, her fingers grazing Cheryl's belly. "Come on, let's go sort this out, hey?"

Chery nodded and allowed Toni to lead her back to Arizona's consult room.

"Welcome back ladies" Arizona hoped they had talked a bit. "Did you get chance to pee in the cup?"

"I did" Cheryl nodded, handing her the bottle. "It was kinda gross." Her nose scrunched up.

"These things always are" Arizona laughed, pulling on some gloves to test the sample. "Have a seat..this shouldn't take long and then we can talk through today." She waited for the results to come in before turning back to the two girls.

Cheryl bit her lip, her body starting to tremble. She wouldn't admit it, but she was _petrified_.

Arizona got all the results back, making a note before sitting back at her desk and turning to face the two of them. "You're not pregnant Cheryl."

Cheryl felt all the air rush from her lungs as she fell into Toni, tears of relief streaming down her face.

"Your uterus was a normal size when I examined you, and the ultrasound revealed no sac or fetus. Your HCG levels were also normal in your urine.. had you been 9 weeks pregnant as you feared, they would have been highly elevated."

"Thank god," Cheryl whispered, her eyes closed. "Wait - then, why'd I miss so many periods? And why the *hell* have I been throwing up multiple times daily for the last two months?"

Toni pulled Cheryl close, relieved for her girlfriend.

" _That_ is something we need to explore in further detail." Arizona said.

"Yeah" Cheryl said, slightly high on relief. "Cause it's gross and I don't like it!" She grinned into her girlfriend's embrace. 

"It can't be nice for you at all" she agreed. "The best way for me to access this further is through a blood sample. I know you hate needles. But how would you feel if I told you I can draw blood painlessly? Toni can back me up on that one.."

Cheryl felt her high disappear. "But... you'd still have to use needles. I don't want to - I don't. I'll throw up for the rest of my life - just please, no."

"Hey..hey.." she spoke softly. "I know you're scared, I do. But we really do need a blood sample for further testing now we've ruled out pregnancy as the cause for this."

"It's honestly painless Cher. You trust me right?" Toni tried to reassure her, her hand falling to Cheryl's thigh again.

"I can use a butterfly needle..it really is tiny.." she got one out to show Cheryl. "See?"

"Let her do this Cheryl..please.." Toni whispered.

Cheryl sniffed. "Hold me" she told, rather than asked, Toni. "I'm not watching."

"I've got you..you can do this Cher.." she cradled her head.

Having spend so many of her years in Peds, Arizona was an expert at drawing blood without pain. She made quick work of taking Cheryl's blood.

Cheryl whimpered, focusing on Toni's voice. "S-sing to me?" she asked softly.

Toni started to hum one of Cheryl's favorite songs softly into her ear in an effort to sooth her.

"We're all done.." Arizona smiled, labelling the viles to be sent off to the lab. "How was that Cheryl?"

"Scary" Cheryl pouts. "Thank you, though."

"Part of my job is reassuring you and putting you at ease honey."

"You did so well babe" Toni praised.

Cheryl smiled. She liked pleasing Toni. She turned her head up to press a quick kiss on Toni's cheek. "Thank you, TT."

"I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you," Cheryl whispered. That sentence - just those five words - were worth a needle of any length or size.

"You're more than welcome.." she kissed her temple.

Cheryl sighed, turning back to Arizona. "How long til the results come back from the lab?"

"A couple days" she confirmed. "It's more to rule things out than diagnose at this point."

"Okay," Cheryl nodded. "Should we be worried?"

"Not at all" Arizona reassured her. "I think it's very possible in this situation that your symptoms have been entirely caused by stress and anxiety."

"I have a lot of that" Cheryl grinned sheepishly.

Arizona nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "That will improve though."

"It will?" Cheryl was eager to learn.

"It will. You can learn strategies to help deal with it and therapy can also help deal with what's happened."

"Right..." Cheryl tapered off. "Maybe."

"Have you ever had therapy before? There are so many options available that can be Tailored to suit your individually needs."

“Th-therapy?” Cheryl whispered, her mind flicking subconsciously back to the sisters, their supposed ‘therapy’. She looked up, eyes wide and questioning. “I... suppose so. But I don’t think I’d like to have it again, if that’s okay.” She was insecure, worried about saying the wrong thing.

"If it's not something you feel ready for then of course not..but there are so many options out there..don't close yourself off from the idea completely okay? I think therapy would really help you".

“Okay,” Cheryl whispered. “Would I - would I have to do it alone?”

"Not at all. Toni could be with you the entire time if you wanted."

“Yeah,” Cheryl nodded. There was no way she was doing it without Toni. “I don’t know. Can I think about it?”

"Absolutely. There's no rush honey."

Cheryl nodded. "Thank you so much for everything today."

"You're welcome. I'll call you when I have your blood results back. And you both have my number of either of you need anything okay?"

"Got it" Cheryl nodded, suddenly keen to get out of there. "Home time, TT?"

"You bet babe. Thanks Arizona" she really appreciated the way Arizona had helped them both that day. She took Cheryl's hand in hers as they walked back to the parking lot.

Cheryl felt a myriad of emotions overtake her as she sunk into the passenger seat. "What a day, huh?" She turned to Toni with a small smile.

"It really was" she agreed, her hand moving across the car to rest on Cheryl's thigh.

Cheryl blinked, entwining her fingers with Toni's. "I'm sorry for... not being completely honest."

"Cher..it's okay. You were terrified..I get that. I'd have done the same in your situation"

Cheryl sighed, utterly _exhausted_. "You were the only thing keeping me from completely losing it these past few weeks," she told her girlfriend. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Luckily for you..that's not something you'll ever have to find out babe" she grinned playfully.

Cheryl's face lit up in a radiant beam. She was so goddamn lucky to have this little ray of light in her life. "Can we get home? So I can kiss you senseless?" She grinned. "We've literally had no intimate contact for ages and I'm getting desperate." Her tongue poked between her teeth as she grinned.

"Oh are you now?" Toni chuckled, speeding up a little as she drove. "If I get a speeding fine, you're paying for it!"

"Eh," Cheryl shrugged. "I'm willing to, if it means I get to kiss you sooner."

"You're on" she chuckled, driving them home quickly, keen to spend time with her girlfriend too.

The minute they were home, Cheryl pounced, throwing all her weight onto the smaller girl and joining their lips with a satisfied sigh. "Much better" she mumbled.

Toni loved when Cheryl made our with her like this, gripping her ass to pull her closer. "Totally agree babe. I totally agree."

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Let us know what you thought!
> 
> Anyone a Grey's Anatomy fan and enjoy the cross over?
> 
> Please let us know what you thought in the comments, reading them make us so happy!
> 
> As always, leave your prompt requests below! ❤️


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